Classy Predictions - Thanksgiving Edition

Posted by the Section 117 Classy Gentlemen

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL FROM THE SECTION 117 CLASSY GENTLEMEN!

Yesterday was a day to give thanks, and the Section 117 Classy Gentlemen, Gentlewomen and Gentlechildren all have much to be thankful this year. We're all very fortunate for great families, friends, health and whatnot, but this isn't a blog about our personal well-beings, so we'll focus on something else we're extremely thankful for this year: the Minnesota Golden Gopher football program.

It's been a banner year for the Gophers, improving by at least two wins over a season ago and delivering a smattering of promise and inspiration along with memorable moments and unforgettable wins. Even in defeat (except the Iowa debacle) our team has looked much improved - both from 2012 to 2013, and throughout this season, and the future is finally starting to brighten up for our favorite squad.

From opening night vs. UNLV to this week's regular
season finale, we have much to be thankful for.

We're also extremely thankful for another fun season of tailgating, home games and fellowship. The annual limo game will live on in our memories forever, as the day began with a limo ride to Minneapolis landmarks and ended in celebration on the TCF Bank Stadium turf. We survived Hurricane Floyd and Antarctica-like conditions for our two big rivalry games. The team snatched the Victory Bell and broke it in celebration. We were on the jumbotron during each of the seven home games and appeared on TV and across the internet in tuxes and top hats.

We're also thankful that a fun idea to channel our fandom has actually become a reality via the blog you're reading now. To find another outlet to express our passion and have it be so well-received by the incredible Gopher community (and among friends and family) has been beyond remarkable, and for that, we feel blessed.

Having said that, we're moving on to a Thanksgiving-themed segment of Classy Predicitions. Last week, the more optimistic of us fell by the wayside and the sobering realists benefited from their picks - even though no one benefits with a loss to Wisconsin.

Two competitors stood out among the rest. Gopher Bandanna Guy improved to 2-0 and remains the only unbeaten since joining the ranks. Tip of the cap or triangle-shaped fabric to you, sir. And the overall win goes to Bruiser. He nearly nailed the margin of victory for Wisconsin and had the lowest-scoring game of all those who picked Minnesota to lose. So for his 31-17 Badger prediction Bruiser wins this week's overall title, but again, we all lose when the Axe stays on the East side of the border.

Below are our picks and many of us shared Gopher-themed thanks as well. If you want to join in the fun, let us know your prediction for Saturday's game at Michigan State and something you're thankful for relating to our favorite squad. We hope your Thanksgivings were classy, the turkey was plentiful, the time with friends and family was well-spent and your glasses were overfloweth with the finest champagnes.

Classy Prediction Standings
Gopher Bandanna Guy 2-0
Rap 3-1
Big Party 3-1
Flony 3-1
Brooks Magsh 3-1
Magsh 3-1
Bruiser 3-1
Higgy 3-1
Melissa Magsh 2-1
Butler 2-1
Kellen 2-1
Curly 0-1

 

 

CLASSY PREDICTIONS
(RV) MINNESOTA AT NO. 11 MICHIGAN STATE
SATURDAY, NOV. 30 - EAST LANSING, MICH.

GOPHER BANDANNA GUY
2-0, 1 OVERALL WIN
MINNESOTA 17, MICHIGAN STATE 13
Thanksgiving is nearly upon us friends, and that means it is time to give thanks for all the wonderful things in your life.  Aside from the usual things an alum who loves the Gophs and his Maroon and Gold bandanna would be expected to be thankful for (family, friends, food, and health), I’d like to declare that I am also thankful for our stalwart Athletic Director, Mr. Norwood Teague.  AD Teague has been a breath of fresh are since he arrived on our beautiful campus, and he runs things the way HE thinks they should be run.  Not by lobbying a panel,  cowtowing to a squeaky wheel, or responding to the media’s every whim and wonder.  And for that type of sorely needed leadership, I say again I am thankful.   I’m also thankful that the Gopher v. Badger game clearly did not demoralize our squad, and instead I think it steeled our resolve.  Look for a tough, hard-fought game against the Spartans on Saturday, with lots of 3 and outs and stunted drives.  This week the Gophs clean up their turnover issue that plagued them against hated Worst-consin, and come out on top due to solid defense and a big play or two. 

BIG PARTY
3-1, 1 OVERALL WIN
MINNESOTA 13, MICHIGAN STATE 7
I am thankful that I was able to make it to every home game for the first time since The Bank open.  I am also thankful that my wife didn’t outwardly consider divorce after I spent 6 Saturday nights sleeping off daytime activities instead of hanging out with her. I am thankful that we had another excellent year of tailgating, including an excellent Classy Pre-Thanksgiving Spectacular last weekend.  I am thankful for Ted’s post last week that reminded us what being a fan should really be about. I am also thankful that I can now throw 40 yard bombs to Kellen in the parking lot without fear of breaking him.  Lastly, I am thankful that I somehow get three Thanksgivings this year.  Someone better get me a wheelbarrow for Christmas and a strongman from a 1930s silent film to push me around all day.

My epic string of homer-ism continues by picking the Gophers in this one again.  There are a couple reasons I think the Gophers can win this one, but it mainly revolves around winning the war of attrition against a team that has every reason to look past this game. Michigan State’s defense is one of the best in the country, but their offense is average to below average (which is a vast improvement over what it was in the beginning of the year).  I think a balanced, ball-control Gopher offense that features much less loose ball handling than on Saturday can do just enough to get 10 points on the board on their own.  The Gopher defense, which will be riding high after an inspiring performance against the Badgers, will generate a few turnovers and keep the Spartan offense in check most of the day.  Michigan State will be so busy packing their bags for Indy that they won’t realize the game is getting away from them until it’s too late.

BROOKS MAGSH
3-1
MINNESOTA 14, MICHIGAN STATE 10
I'm thankful for heated diapers, whoever eventual invents heated diapers, and for being born into the Section 117 Classy Gentlemen.

MAGSH
3-1
MICHIGAN STATE 28, MINNESOTA 7
I'm thankful for vacations in San Diego, a bowl game that isn't in Detroit, and Ra'Shede Hageman.

BRUISER
3-1, 1 OVERALL WIN
MINNESOTA 20, MICHIGAN STATE 17
On the eve of Thanksgiving 2013, I am not only thankful for my friends and family, my good health despite my repeated attempts to sabotage it, the fact that I finally convinced a female to live with me for an entire year, and the delicious, Cajun-infused turkey that chef Adam prepared for our MN/WI tailgate – I’m also thankful for the Minnesota Golden Gophers’ DEFENSE.  I’m not going to give you a stat-heavy analysis here (I have a house to clean and a turkey to brine), and I’m certainly not going to touch on the Tim Brewster era… or as I came to call it: the “want to punch myself in the crotch” era.  During Glenn Mason’s tenure, the Gophers developed a prolific rushing attack.  With that and generally adequate quarterback play, the Mason Gophers typically scored enough points to win games.  Unfortunately, from what I recall, the usually horrible defense (especially the God-awful secondary) could never get the job done and very rarely came up with big stops when they were needed most.  Remembering those days, I’m extremely thankful to have a team that can rush for over 200 yards/game but still has enough talent, toughness, and speed on defense to hold a powerful Wisconsin offense to 20 points.  In my opinion, the defense has played well all year with the exception of the Michigan game and the second half of the Indiana game.  That’s why I’m picking the Gophers to hold Michigan State to 17 points and come away with an improbable 3-point win in East Lansing.  Screw Black Friday… I’m excited for Maroon and Gold Saturday.  GO GOPHERS and HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

HIGGY
3-1
MICHIGAN STATE 24, MINNESOTA 13
I already wrote a whole blog about this, but this Thanksgiving I'm extremely thankful for two things related to the Gopher football team above all else: progress and hope. Our team made tangible progress this season, both on the scoreboard and via the "eye test" and the hope that an eight (or nine, or 10) win season is not only an accomplishment, but a springboard toward even better days ahead. I'm thankful we have a coaching staff that knows how to game-plan, make adjustments and most of all can coach kids up and make them better players (the anti-Tubby Smith approach). I'm thankful Coach Kill has reportedly been in better health over the last month. I'm thankful for Aaron Hill's big play abilities, David Cobb's emergence, Eric Murray's coverage, Brock Vereen's greatness and Ra'Shede Hageman's ability to be a freak. Finally, I'm thankful for another outstanding season in Lot 37 and Section 117 and the blogs, memories and photos that have captured - in Gopher standings - an exceptional season. I'll also be thankful if we can find the Big Ten Network in Texas Saturday, and for the tolerance of all those Texans who won't know why there's a guy going crazy over the Minnesota game.

MELISSA MAGSH
2-1
MICHIGAN STATE 31, MINNESOTA 13
I'm thankful for Panino's, heated bathrooms at TCF Bank Stadium, and Jerry Kill.

BUTLER
2-1
MICHIGAN STATE 14, MINNESOTA 12
The Gopher offense is unable to score in the red zone on Michigan State's stout D and while the Gopher defense plays well, they allow a couple big touchdown runs to give Sparty the victory.

KELLEN
2-1
MINNESOTA 17, MICHIGAN STATE 14
The Gopher offense comes up with big runs by David Cobb and Donnell Kirkwood and Hawthorne ices the game with a late field goal.

Higgy's Handshake - The Gopher D

Posted by Higgy

Losing is never fun. Losing to a rival is even worse. But as the Minnesota football team and its fans recover from hangovers Sunday - football and otherwise - there is finally a silver lining in a loss to the archrival Wisconsin Badgers. Though the visitors hung on to Paul Bunyan's Axe for the 10th season in a row, progress was finally evident and tangible Saturday.

Rivalry game losses always taste bitter.

I, like many Minnesota fans, have been more than encouraged by the eight-win season and four-game winning streak, but entered Saturday with the trepidation that we weren't quite ready to compete with a team of Wisconsin's caliber. What I saw surprised me. Physically, we were competitive with the Badgers on both sides of the ball. I expected us to get lit up on both lines. We didn't run for a ton of yards and the offense as a whole struggled (that's being polite), but the line of scrimmage was a pretty even battle throughout and, for a Gopher fan, that's incredibly encouraging.

The Minnesota defense played an outstanding game. It limited Wisconsin to 20 points and 197 rushing yards just a week after the Badgers exploded for 51 points and 554 yards on the ground. Wisconsin came in averaging 38.5 points per game. Despite being put in countless bad spots thanks to the offense, the Gopher D held the mighty Badgers well below their averages across the board.

For that performance, this week's Higgy's Handshake is extended to the entire MINNESOTA DEFENSE.

To examine why the whole unit is worthy of praise, let's start by digging into the numbers. I'm going to focus on the run defense, because running the ball is Wisconsin's biggest strength and its main offensive identity, and the Gophers' performance in that area was both unexpected and impressive.

Wisconsin has 3,276 yards on 484 carries this season. That's good for an outstanding average of 6.8 yards per carry. The Badgers have run for 35 touchdowns this season. In 11 games, those numbers average out to 297 yards and 3.2 rushing scores per game.

Saturday, it was a much different story. Minnesota held the Badgers to exactly 100 yards below its average, as the Badgers mustered "just" 197 yards on the ground on 45 carries. Wisconsin averaged 4.4 yards per carry, and managed just one score on the ground.

On the Badgers' first possession of the game, I'm told James White had a 49-yard run. I didn't see it because I was in one of the lines for "concessions" on our way into the stadium. But if you subtract that one big play out of Wisconsin's stats, Minnesota's performance looks even more impressive.

Without that play, the Badgers ran for just 148 yards on 44 carries and a very un-Wisconsin-like 3.36 yard per carries. Minnesota limited the explosive Melvin Gordon to just 69 yards on the ground, and with that run absent from White's stat line, he went for 76 yards on 25 carries and an average of 3.05 yards per carry. Both backs average more than 115 yards per game and 6.5 yards per carry. Great effort, Gopher run defense.

The Gophers defense did a good job keeping
the skunks in the popcorn box Saturday.

When you factor in that the Minnesota offense coughed up three costly fumbles and didn't put any points on the board, it adds a degree of difficulty to what the defense achieved. Also, Minnesota's only score of the game was a euphoria-inducing pick-six by Aaron Hill that sent my top hat flying three rows in celebration. The Gophers allowed just seven points in the second half, held the Badgers to a pair of field goals (and one missed kick) to limit damage in the red zone, and blew up a ridiculous swinging-gate fake field goal for a big fourth-down stop.

Individually, several players stood out. Hill had six tackles, his defensive touchdown and a forced fumble, and the senior LB continues to lead and make winning plays. Damien Wilson had eight tackles, Cedric Thompson had nine and a forced fumble, and Antoinio Johnson continues to impress with his fundamentally-sound tackling as led the team with 10 stops. Ra'Shede Hageman and Roland Johnson both had 2.0 tackles-for-a-loss. Eric Murray and Brock Vereen continued to play well. The whole unit impressed Saturday, playing as a team, taking on blockers and swarming to the ball.

To add some historical context, let's examine the other two matchups against Wisconsin in the Jerry Kill era. A year ago, the Badgers blew us out by scoring 38 points and running for 337 yards (6.2 yards per carry), and in 2011 Wisconsin put up 42 points with 283 rushing yards and an even-better 6.3 yards per carry. That team probably could've run for more, but their far-more-competent free-agent signing at QB (Russell Wilson) gave the Badgers balance they're not used to, and he was 16-for-17 for 178 yards and four scores that day.

I want to add a couple disclaimers to this analysis and praise for the Gopher D. First, we DID give up the 49-yard to White, so any full examination of the stats should rightfully include that result. But pulling it out helps give a more accurate picture of how the defense played for the duration of the game minus one mistake.

Also, our defense played great, but Wisconsin's defense played even better. The Badgers are blessed with an outstanding, balanced defense. They made life difficult for our offense, and deserve a ton of credit for the win. No doubt Phil "Full" Nelson has more than a handful of throws he'd like back and his receivers have a few drops they'd like back as well. Minnesota's three fumbles were likely the difference in the game. But a lot of that was caused by the Badger defense, which is tremendous and deserves a ton of credit. And other than Hill's pick-six, their offense didn't turn the ball over, and Wisconsin certainly earned Saturday's victory and deserves a 10th-straight season with the Axe.

But the progress was evident. This whole season has symbolized a big step forward for Kill's crew, and Saturday - especially on the defensive side - might have been some of the best evidence yet. Wisconsin is a botched kneel-down (and some mishandling by the officials) from a top-10 ranking and an inside track on another BCS appearance, and we traded blows with them straight-up for four quarters.

Saturday's cold-weather tailgate and game
will be a day to remember, even in defeat.

I don't like the term "moral victory" because wins truly are decided in just one place - the scoreboard. Saturday, Wisconsin won. Minnesota lost. But so many times Gopher losses at the hands of the Badgers resulted only in questions and despair. Saturday's loss actually contained some answers, and proved that we're improving. For the first time in a while, the Gophers and their fans can feel optimistic that college football's oldest rivalry will be much more of a true rivalry in the seasons to come. The foam version of Paul Bunyan's Axe will spend another year in Fon Du Lac with Reb, but I'm finally hopeful I'll get to see it again in the next year or two.

EXTRA POINTS
-Our offensive line and David Cobb deserve credit for Saturday's performance as well. I assumed we'd duplicate our performance against Iowa and run for about 30 yards against the Badgers 'great defense. But Cobb crossed the 1,000-yard plateau and Minnesota ran for 102 yards. Cobb had 68 yards on 17 carries and an average of 4.0 yards per carry. If you had told me those numbers before the game, I would've gladly taken them. He proved to be more of a physical runner than I imagined, and continues to be a breakout star.

-What could have been. Minnesota led 7-3 and drove into Badger territory in the second quarter. If the Gophers find a way to finish that drive and get a touchdown and go into the half up 14-3, it's a much different game. Instead, Nelson fumbled. Wisconsin scored a TD and added a field goal for a 13-7 lead at the half. Hopefully our team learns from the missed opportunity, and it's all part of the growing and learning process in the long run for our young QB and a squad still being schooled on the finer points of victory.

-My favorite Badger fan interaction of the day: A pair of Wisconsin fans wandered past our tailgate and decided to heckle the Classy Gentlemen. I posed them with a simple challenged to prove their fandom.

Badger fan: "Gophers suck!"
Me: "Name me three starters on the Wisconsin defense."
Badger fan: "Uh ... Chris Borland baby!"
Me: "Congratulations. That's one. Two to go."
Badger fan: "Uh ... uh ... uh ... Badgers rule!"
Me: "So you can't do it?"
Badger fan: "The name of the guy who will be tackling David Cobb in the backfield all day long!"
Me: "You can name our running back, but only one starter on your defense?"
Badger fan: "We're so drunk we don't know who the players are! Yeah! Go Badgers!"
Me: "I think we're done here. Move along"

The Classy Gentlemen make it a perfect home season
for jumbotron appearances, and even get some TV time.
(Photo courtesy of Magsh)

-Kudos to Gopher fans for braving the cold and filling up The Bank with more than 53,000 fans in attendance - a new record. It was absolute bedlam when Hill picked off Stave and scampered into the end zone, and the noise level was great for a number of big defensive plays. An environment like Saturday's is exactly what I envisioned when the on-campus, outdoor stadium was finally green lit. However, as I mentioned after the Iowa loss, it would be nice to win one of those huge well-attended games to turn some of the casual fans in attendance into die-hards. The Nebraska and Penn State wins certainly helped in that regard. Hopefully the first steps have been taken, and next year we can enjoy a similar home-field advantage throughout the season, and the team can reward the fans who show up.

-Friday was an extremely busy day at Recession Proof. If you didn't see Big Party's report from the downtown pep rally or either of Butler's Backtracks, they're all well worth a read. The Butler father-son duo provided some great stuff, with Kellen's latest Gopher-related school project and Butler's reclamation from the Dark Side.

-Losing aside, it was a great day. Six hours of tailgating and a three-hour game with a high of 15 degrees is never fun, but sometimes those type of environments are the most memorable. I finally started getting cold in the last six or seven minutes of the game, but maintained pretty well throughout the day. Our group gave a collective cheer when the temperature ascended into double-digits around 11 a.m.

The tailgating was top-notch starting when Lot 37 opened at 8:30 a.m. We successfully combined classy attire with warmth and had a great day. Big Party's cousin Adlick is a master turkey deep-fryer and a great addition to the tailgate despite his red and white attire. His cajun-injected turkey was delicious and fried to perfection. My stuffing muffins turned out pretty tasty, and the whole Thanksgiving-themed spread was positively delicious. Big Party and Butler brought a full-out potato blitz, Bruiser brought the pies and the Raps contributed bloodys, appetizers and delicious desserts.

Flony was at his all-time culinary best. He made "Bacon Bombs" for the fryer, which featured a piece of cheese inside a biscuit, wrapped in bacon and deep fried. Amazing. And he also replicated Paul Bunyan's Axe in meat form ... a pork meatloaf in Axe shape completely thatched in bacon. It was incredible, and drew a lot of interest from passersby. Though the Badgers retained the Axe on the field, we won the battle of the Food Axe in the parking lots, and victory tasted like heaven. I leave you with a collage of the tailgating highlights. It was a great day, and great to have visitors like the Raps, Adlick and Christy and Rife in town, and nice to welcome the Shanes to Section 117. Gopher-Badger weekend is one of my 3 or 4 favorite weekends every year, and this one didn't disappoint.

Cousins enjoy deep-fried turkey excellence. A meat Axe (top center) added to a storied rivalry showdown.

Classy Predictions - Battle for the Axe

Posted by the Section 117 Classy Gentlemen

Take that, Badger board!

When we were tailgating in our usual Lot 37 spot prior to the Penn State game, Rap pulled out his cornhole set and we engaged in a couple good games of the classic parking-lot sport. The only downside? Rap's wife went to Wisconsin. So one of the boards has our beautiful block maroon-and-gold "M" on it. And the other one has a dirty "W."

Goldy came tearing through Lot 37 on his segway, and when he saw the board with the "W" on it, he locked up the brakes and looked at us, all Gopher fans, in disbelief. He hopped off the scooter and tried to scrub the "W" off the board with his tail. After a few unsuccessful minutes, he defiantly flipped the board over to our applause, then hopped back on his scooter and was on his way, like a Badger-hating Superman disappearing into the horizon.

The point of this story? No. 1 - it's funny. No. 2 - rivalries matter in all sports, but they're even more special in college football. Trophies are exchanged. Fan bases and entire states wage endless wars of words over who's better, then both sides refute fact and add some new context to paint their program in a better light. For example, if your rival has dominated you of late, you just remind them you've won seven national championships to their zero. It doesn't matter if they've had the upper hand for the last decade or if all seven titles happened decades before you were born. College football rivalries turn rational people into irrational defenders of pride and stature, and that's a huge reason why they're so great. We're all right, and we're all acting out of love and devotion.

So what do we actually think will happen where it counts - on the field and on the scoreboard - Saturday? The picks get a little more interesting this week with some optimistic selections, but it isn't a wash for the Gophers this week. Will the optimistic be rewarded? Will the sobering realists be left validated, but unhappy? We'll know in roughly 20 hours. Let's get to the picks. Hey! Curly is joining the fun this week!

 

Classy Prediction Standings
Rap 3-0
Big Party 3-0
Flony 3-0
Brooks Magsh 3-0
Melissa Magsh 2-0
Butler 2-0
Kellen 2-0
Gopher Bandanna Guy 1-0
Magsh 2-1
Bruiser 2-1
Higgy 2-1
Curly 0-0

CLASSY PREDICTIONS
NO. 17 WISCONSIN AT NO. 23 MINNESOTA
NOV. 23, 2013 - 2:30 P.M. - TCF BANK STADIUM

RAP
3-0, 1 OVERALL WIN
MINNESOTA 41, WISCONSIN 37
This match-up scares me. There is nothing that can shake my Minnesota football optimism like the three perennial games versus the cheese-eaters (NFL included).  Because of this I will forget the statistics and numbers. The numbers don't usually amount to much in rivalry games. Anything can happen, and it's with the "why not us, why not now" mentality that I approach this prediction.

The great Minnesota sports icon, Herb Brooks said it best: Great moments... are born from great opportunity. And that's what you have here, tonight, boys. That's what you've earned here tonight. One game. If we played 'em ten times, they might win nine. But not this game. Not tonight. Tonight, we run with them. Tonight, we stay with them. And we shut them down because we can! Tonight, WE are the greatest Big Ten football team in the world. You were born to be football players. Every one of you. And you were meant to be here tonight. This is your time. Their time is done. It's over. I'm sick and tired of hearing about what a great football team the Badgers have. Screw 'em. This is your time. Now go out there and take it.

I'll see you all at the 50 yd line after the game. Ski-U-Mah! And the weekly Dale Rapovich pick: "Minnesota 24, Wisconsin 21. The cold weather is going to keep the high-scoring Badgers at bay."
 
BIG PARTY
3-0, 1 OVERALL WIN
MINNESOTA 31, WISCONSIN 30
That’s right, I’m going with a 1 point victory for the Gophers. The Badgers will get their yards on the ground, with Gordon and White easily topping 100 yards in this game. However, I predict that the Gophers will strike first and be up 10-0 in the 1st quarter behind a couple long, balanced drives.  This will convince the Badger coaching staff to look to their passing game a little earlier than they’d want to, which would play to the Gophers strength (pass defense > power run defense).  Cobb goes for 140, Jones has a coming out party at WR in extended action, Mankato Jesus proves he made the right choice of college, bend but don’t break defense holds the Badgers to 4 FG attempts, and the Gophers never trail in this one.

FLONY
3-0
MINNESOTA 33, WISCONSIN 31
The Gophers get their best home-field advantage in the history of TCF Bank Stadium and shock the Badgers thanks to a special teams turnover that leads to great field position and a big defensive performance that stymies the Badgers to a mere 220 yards on the ground. (This was dictated to Higgy while Flony was elbow-deep in the creation of the bacon-thatched meat Axe. Let's see a Badger try to run across the field and take that axe from our sidelines. We dare you.)

BROOKS MAGSH
3-0
MINNESOTA 20, WISCONSIN 19
Yep, using regular numbers now.  Big whoop. Wanna fight about it? For my analysis I’d like to quote Mrs. Finkle from the classic piece of cinema, Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. Feel free to replace Dan Marino with Wisconsin Badgers.

“Dan Marino should die of gonorrhea and rot in hell. Would you like a cookie, son?”

MELISSA MAGSH
2-0
MINNESOTA 38, WISCONSIN 0
The Badgers make me want to vomit all over myself. Yep, just vomited all over myself.


BUTLER
2-0
MINNESOTA 34, WISCONSIN 31
After a low scoring first half, both teams score 3 TD's in the second half with the Gophers tying the game on a Maxx Williams TD.  Wisconsin kicks a field goal on the opening possession of OT but David Cobb busts a 15-yard TD run on 3rd and short to win The Axe in dramatic fashion. 

KELLEN
2-0
MINNESOTA 17, WISCONSIN 14
In a defensive struggle, the Gophers hold off a furious Wisconsin rally at the end with huge sacks in the final minute by Ra'Shede Hageman and Aaron Hill.

GOPHER BANDANNA GUY
1-0, 1 OVERALL WIN
WISCONSIN 33, MINNESOTA 17
Fellow Gopher fans and Classy Gentlemen everywhere, it is with great regret that I make this rather pessimistic prediction.  But before I get into that, let me tell you that there is no one, NO ONE who hates the Wisconsin Badgers more than me.  I’ve lived in Wisconsin nearly all my life (aside from 4 wonderful years on the U of M campus, and a childhood year Down Under), and have suffered miserably under a wave of unprecedented Badger arrogance and for 2 decades.  I’ve travelled into the Heart of Darkness more times than I care to share, braving the savage rubes of Camp Randall and the sterile glass-and-cinder block multipurpose space of the Kohl Center.  I’ve had hot cocoa dumped on me, been taunted and booed with unspeakable vulgarities,  had a State Trooper confiscate my mini-inflatable axe, and been dragged off the Barry Alvarez statue after trying to pose for a pic  sending a haymaker ‘ol Barry’s way.  Each trip has only served to harden my resolve and intensify my hatred.  If I could somehow guarantee no deaths or casualties, I would burn the entire campus and surrounding area to the ground, and turn it into a massive landfill that accepts waste only from Minnesota, and turn the lakes into a massive series of septic tanks.  All displaced residents would be forced to move to Iowa.

That said, I sadly do not think we are quite ready to reclaim the Axe this year.  Wisconsin’s run game is simply too powerful for us to slow enough to gain the upper hand, and their rush defense is good enough to keep us from doing what we like best.  And I fear we will commit to stopping the run so much, that we will become highly susceptible to Stave play-action passing, and yield too many big plays via the air.  On offense, we will struggle to run the ball as we have in previous weeks, facing what is probably the best front 7 we have seen all season.  Things will look much like the Iowa game (which we have learned from), but Wisconsin is more talented than the Squawk-eyes.  2nd half we will be forced to throw more than the Gophers are designed to do, and we’ll make some nice plays against a mediocre secondary, but the Full Nelson will be forced into some bad throws and at least 1 or 2 turnovers that ultimately kill any chance at a comeback.  And the loss of Derrick Engel to injury doesn’t help matters either.  David Cobb never gets a chance to get things rolling, as we get down early, and Limegrover starts to force the pass.  Doom and gloom, I know.  And I apologize.  If it is any consolation, I believe we actually have a much better chance against the Spartans on the road next week.

MAGSH
2-1
WISCONSIN 31, MINNESOTA 24
I know, I know. It’s sacrilege in this space to choose the Gophers to lose, and I don’t feel good doing it. But let’s be honest. If the Gophers keep this game close, once the heartbreak of losing wears off we’ll probably still feel pretty good about hanging with a Badgers team that is an officiating blunder away from being in the BCS conversation. The good news is, I’ve been wrong three times before in my life. This could be the fourth.

BRUISER
2-1
WISCONSIN 31, MINNESOTA 17
As much as I’ve tried to rationalize it over the last 12 days, I just can’t bring myself to pick the good guys in this one.  Of course, I’m hoping Claeys and company will prove me wrong tomorrow.  The BADgers are doing two things really well right now – running the football and playing defense – that are basically a recipe for success on a cold, windy day.  This will be one of those games that “feels closer” than the two touchdown difference, but the BADger rushing attack will wear down the Gophers in the second half and keep this one out of reach.  Nelson will have a respectable day with about 200 yards passing and a touchdown toss to Maxx “Double X” Williams, but David Cobb and the Gopher rushing attack fail to break any big, game-changing plays.  The Classy Gentlemen will brave the wind chill in Lot 37 while enjoying deep fried turkey with ALL THE SIDES and will look forward to a time (beginning in 2014 or 2015, in this picker’s opinion) when Paul Bunyan’s Axe will spend much more time in the Twin Cities.

HIGGY
2-1
WISCONSIN 34, MINNESOTA 23
There is both logic behind my disappointing pick, and some devious mischief at work. The last time our favorite squad hosted a nationally-ranked foe wearing red and white, I picked us to lose 34-23. I got the score right but the result wrong, as our Gophers handled Nebraska en route to a 34-23 victory. I'm hoping the same cosmic forces are at work this weekend, so I'm going to keep things exactly the same and reveal my superstition. For the record, we were also wearing the Classy outfits that day so, you guessed it, they'll be back supplemented by warmer layers for Saturday's Border Battle.

My superstitious pick is actually a little closer than what I fear will happen Saturday. One solace is that other than for a few times, this game is usually close regardless of how good either team is, especially in Minneapolis. When we were 1-11 under Brewster, we had the ball and a chance to tie late. All the games in Minnesota under Mason were wins or extremely close games. Kill's first home matchup vs. Wisconsin were under different circumstances. Namely, the Badgers were the winners (and only players) in B1G Free Agency that season and they had arguably the best QB to ever wear the red and white. But other than that, it's typically been a great game in the Twin Cities.

I'm hoping Saturday's another great game but, like when I picked this score against Nebraska, I fear what will happen up front. The Badgers line will likely pave the way for a big day for the backs. I'm predicting White to have the bigger day with 160-plus and three scores. Minnesota is able to move the ball through the air better than anticipated, but settles for field goals too many times in the red zone to result in any real drama in the final 10 minutes. Phil hits Maxx for a score and runs one in himself, but unfortunately the Gophers' free agent pickup from NC State nails a trio of short field goals and misses one from 40-45.

Things get broken open in the third quarter when Wisconsin does one of its patented quick TD drive-turnover-quick TD drive runs to turn a close game into another sad day for us. However, the Classy Gentlemen fill themselves on deep fried turkey and all the trimmings and enough alcohol to put the tiny town from Footloose completely underwater, and we immediately start talking ourselves into how we can beat Michigan state.

CURLY
0-0
MINNESOTA 21, WISCONSIN 17
Both teams barely outscore the thermometer, and the average number of hot totties consumed by each Classy Gentleman, in a game dominated by the ground games.  The Gophers get a big touchdown from their defense in the second half and win in a close score mimicking the legendary Ice Bowl, this time coming out against the state of Wisconsin.  

Who do you think has the best prediction? What do you think the score will be? Let us know in the comments section! Ski-U-Mah friends, Ski-U-Mah.

Butler's Backtrack, Kellen's Edition

Posted by Kellen

I spent the days following the victory over Penn State thinking, and writing, about Gopher football.  Below is my book about going to the Penn State game with my friend Cameron and participating in the Tunnel Team.  My teacher, Mrs. Bowman, really liked my book.  

Butler's Backtrack, Axe Edition

Posted by The Constable

The Wisconsin game holds special significance for me.  Yeah, I know, it does for every Gopher football (and basketball and hockey) fan.  But for me it’s a reminder of the past and what I crave in the present each and every Fall. 

You see, I was born in Illinois, raised in Wisconsin, and have spent almost my entire adult life in Minnesota.  The way I see it now I was always on my northwesterly way here, but I just never knew it until I arrived. 

I am a child of two Badger fans, my dad having graduated from UW-Madison and my mom having spent most of her academic career there but eventually graduating from UW-La Crosse due to a family relocation.  My aunt is a long-time UW employee and my family has many deep roots in Wisconsin and especially Madison. 

I remember attending a 30% full Camp Randall Stadium in the Don Morton era  and that my dad listened to many games on the radio but I never paid much attention to the Badgers growing up (they really were a terrible program once, Badger fans).  As I finished high school I had the desire to attend a smaller college than Wisconsin or Minnesota.  I initially chose UW-Eau Claire and eventually transferred to UMD to finish my degree.   I followed the Badgers a little bit from afar during those years, including the 1993-94 Rose Bowl season.

After graduation I began what is now my career as a staff member at the University of Minnesota.  A short four months later, on October 9, 1999 I took my parents to the Metrodome to watch the 20^th ranked Badgers take on the 25^th ranked Gophers.  Ugh...I was wearing a Wisconsin Rose Bowl t-shirt from that 1993-94 season.

Ron Dayne was smothered by
the Gopher Defense.  Photo
courtesy of Wisconsin State
Journal.

The game was close throughout with each team putting up 14 first half points.  The Gophers scored on two passes from Billy Cockerham to Arland Bruce (24 yards) and Thomas Hamner (49 yards).  Wisconsin’s Ron Dayne punched in one rushing TD for the game from 3 yards out but for the most part the Gopher defense held Wisconsin’s rushing game in check that day, with Dayne carrying 25 times for just 80 yards.  The Badgers’ only other touchdown came on an 81-yard pass to Nick Davis.   The teams traded field goals in the fourth quarter and went to overtime.

I remember like it was yesterday that during the 3^rd quarter as the Gophers were mounting an incredible effort to stop the Badger rushing game, my tepid loyalty to the Badgers started to ebb.  Not wanting to offend my parents, I mostly stopped cheering for the rest of the game but internally I started pulling for the Gophers  for the remainder of regulation and overtime. 

Over the course of a single 3 1/2 hour game, I converted.  In what may have been a prelude to the rest of the Mason years, I was disappointed that day with the Gophers unable to muster a matching field goal in overtime and falling 20-17.  But despite the loss, that Gopher squad (the one that later beat #2 Penn State in Happy Valley and won Floyd at Kinnick to end the season) won my heart and I’ve been a diehard Gopher fan ever since.  I suffered through Northwestern 2001, Michigan 2003, countless Purdue losses, Wisconsin 2005, and Tim Brewster.  But through it all, I get optimistic every August and have kept coming back.  Finally I'm starting to see my patience pay off.

That day in 1999 the Gophers gave out foam axes to fans.  One of those axes became a family traveling trophy that I now haven’t laid my hands on since having to relinquish it in a ceremonial exchange in 2004.  I want that foam axe back!

The situation this year is very parallel to the 1999 game.  The team is turning around just as it was then.  I believe Jerry Kill has brought the program back to at least the 1999 level we saw that day under Mason.  The rankings of both teams are similar and while the Gophers are even bigger underdogs this year than in '99, in both games the odds makers favored Wisconsin.  I’m banking on another heroic effort to contain the Wisconsin running game on Saturday…but I’m also banking on Jerry’s team to be able to finish the job that Mason’s squad could not the day I became a Gopher fan. 

Final Note:  My dad was the classiest college football fan I’ve ever met.  He never said a negative word about the Gophers (or really any team for that matter) or faulted me for switching allegiances and he always rooted for Minnesota in bowl games.   

Classy Badger Fan
Bill Butler

The last game we attended together along with my then 6-year old son was a 42-13 Russell Wilson-led thrashing of the Gophers at TCF Bank stadium on November 12, 2011.  We had a great tailgate and despite the disappointing game my son and I enjoyed a great day of college football with my dad.  He died very unexpectedly less than two months later.  

Trust me, I want that axe back as much as any Gopher fan and I will be yelling hard counts from section 117 to throw off the Badgers timing louder than ever.  But there will be something missing for me.  Do me one favor this Saturday. Pay a little closer attention than usual to whatever family connections you have that are strengthened (or strained for that matter) by this game and enjoy those shared experiences.  Opportunities to make great memories are fleeting and "next time" isn't always possible.

Lunch With Jerry

Posted by Big Party

Bruiser and I had the pleasure of attending the Gopher Pep Rally at the IDS Crystal Court today. Coach Kill, Athletic Director Norwood Teague, Goldy, the pep band, and even T. Denny Sanford were in attendance.  A small but passionate crowd showed up, Jerry ended with a bang, and now I just want to tear down my cube wall and accost the first thing I see wearing red (if you know where I work, you know how bad of an idea this is).

Below are a few notes from Jerry’s speech and a couple pictures from the event.  The notes are all from memory, so I apologize for any mistakes.  I'M ONLY HUMAN, AS FAR AS YOU KNOW.

Goldy's thoughts: "It's been like 10 whole minutes since someone asked me to spin my head. What gives?"

 Jerry on History:

• This is the first meeting that both teams are 6 games above .500 since 1901, and the first time both teams have been nationally ranked coming into this game in over a decade. This is a big game for both programs.
• We’re all a part of history: first time beating Nebraska in 50 years, first 4 game winning streak in 40.  Now we just need that axe.

Jerry Being Humble:

•  Coaches are overrated.  Our success is due to the student-athletes, especially the seniors that have been through a lot and have done a great job buying into the program.
• From day one, we have said that no one person would turn this program around.  The fans, alumni, and community can have a bigger impact than he and his coaching staff.

If you can't tell by the rest of our blog posts,
we really like Jerry around these parts.

Jerry on Protecting Our House:

• He told a great story about working up in his office while intramural football was being played in the practice complex.  He looked down and was watching the action for a bit when he saw a young man playing while wearing a Wisconsin hat. Coach Kill went down to the field, took the hat off the kid's head, handed him a Gopher hat and said "I'm going to be up in my office all night, and you better be wearing this hat when I look down here."
• There isn’t going to a lot of red in the stands because you guys did a great job of buying all the tickets.
• We need it loud. “We don’t want the 12^th man, we want the 13^th, and 14^th…”
•  When Wisconsin has the ball on offense, you better make it so they can’t hear the snap count.  I want them to know where they’re playing.
• We need you guys ready for the game tomorrow, so I give you permission to go ahead and get started tonight. 

Other notes:

• I wish T. Denny would have pulled out his wallet full of Benjamins and made it rain like Pacman Jones.
•  Any lost souls on the U of M campus looking for a father figure should seek out
  
  
  Norwood Teague.  He seems like a guy who would be stern but fair, wise beyond his years, and tender when he needed to be.  Almost like a businessman version of Ron Swanson.
• I think I’m pretty plugged-in, but I didn’t know this was happening until about an hour and a half before it started.  I wonder how many more Gopher fans would have shown up with a little better communication.
• Speaking of communication, the IDS folks need to get their PA system figured out.  I can imagine it was a little tough to hear the speakers up in the concours.

Well, it’s 5 o’clock somewhere.  I think I might blow off the rest of the afternoon and start preparing for the game tomorrow.  If my boss pushes back on this, I’ll just tell them to take it up with Jerry Kill.

I can be your father figure, I have had enough of crime;
I will be the one who loves you, till the end of time.