Posted by Big Party
Divergentdi·ver·gent (adjective) – moving apart, following paths or courses that become increasingly different or separate
I could spend countless hours pondering events that lead to different
groups having very differing fates.
For example, I saw a TV show once that presented a theory that
one of the most important moments in primate evolution was when one group of
primates started using tools to remove meat from the bones of their prey. The brain requires significantly more energy
to develop (cite: Real Impressive Sciency Sounding Journal, 1960), so the fact
that these primates could eat meat more efficiently enabled them to become more
advanced. This was a divergent point in
our evolution: the group that used tools eventually evolved to humans, and the
group that didn’t use tools eventually became the state of New Jersey (see you
in 2016, Rutgers!). (In all seriousness,
they became many of the other less-advanced primates we know today,
theoretically.)
A more approachable/sports-related example of a divergent
event may be the Colts taking Peyton Manning over Ryan Leaf, or the Blazers
taking Sam Bowie over Michael Jordan. (I
prefer the evolution story, though. It’s
a good one to bring up to vegetarians.)
It’s easy to find these kinds of events in recent Gopher
history:
1985 - Lou Holtz
leaves Minnesota for Notre Dame, taking
them back to greatness and leaving us in the Metrodome with John Gutekunst.
1990 – Barry
Alvarez takes over for a team that hadn’t had a winning season since 1984 and
turns them into a perennial Big Ten power. Minnesota enjoys their last winning
season until 1999. |
| Jim Wacker and the Golden Gophers celebrating another near victory. Let's just pretend that Wacker and those uniforms never happened. |
1992 – Northwestern
and Minnesota fire their head coaches. Northwestern
hires Gary Barnett, who leads them to two Big Ten championships and a Rose Bowl
berth. Minnesota hires Jim Wacker, who
never finished higher than eighth in the conference over 5 forgettable
seasons.
1999 – The
Gophers defeat #2 ranked Penn State on a last second Dan Nystrom field goal.
Penn State descends into a near decade of on-field turmoil (followed by
something even worse) and the Gophers become a perennial fringe bowl team.2007 – Tim Brewster becomes head coach of the Minnesota Golden Gophers and Pat Fitzgerald enters his second season as head coach of Northwestern. The Wildcats become a fringe bowl team with promise, and the Gophers become an absolute mess. (The Wildcats were also 5-1 against the gophers from 2007-2012).
2013 - This was
supposed to be Northwestern’s year, but things are starting to spiral out of
control. An impressive near win against
Ohio State was followed by a butt-kicking by the BADgers and a tough loss to a
Gopher team that hasn’t exactly been playing good football. Maybe this will catalyze another divergence
that will propel the Gophers upward?
 |
| Big Party and Bruiser representing Team Mexico. We finished en cuarto lugar. |
Full disclosure: I didn’t watch most of it because Bruiser
and I had a commitment with our significant others. It was a really fun commitment, but we
normally wouldn’t miss a Gopher football game.
However, since said significant others generally tolerate our devoting
most Saturdays to the Gophers and Sundays to our respective NFL teams, we let
them twist our arms into participating in a Beer Olympics. THAT IS SACRIFICE, PEOPLE! (We’ll see you at the 2014 Boyfriend/Husband
of the Year Award Ceremony in Reno!) I was able to catch a few plays via
WatchESPN, but mostly followed the game via the GameCast on Bruiser’s phone (my
phone was out of commission). I watched
a little more of the game on Sunday and read some recaps, so this isn’t
necessarily a good first-hand assessment.
Read it anyway and stop complaining.
Things I liked:
Optimus Prime –
He looked a lot like that guy we heard about before the season started. He was impressive in getting penetration,
knocking down balls, and even recording a really nifty interception. Way to use those Tight End ball skills!
Pulling the trigger
– Nice work by the Gopher coaching staff making the QB switch. It’ll be interesting to see who the announced
starter is today since coach Claeys said they won’t be using a planned
rotation. Both QBs bring something different to the table, and maybe going with
the hot hand will be the best way to manage games until one of them emerges as
the unquestioned starter.
Jerry, Jerry, Jerry
– I’ve loved all of the things I’ve heard about Jerry surprising the team by
showing up at the game and being in the locker room at halftime. It’s great for him to find a way to stay
involved while he’s figuring out his health issues.
Host Nations –
Kudos to the Hoffman and James households for hosting a fine Beer
Olympics. I still think Team Canada was
cheating somehow.
Things I didn’t like:
Reasons for doubt – Yes,
the Gophers beat a pretty solid Northwestern team by putting up their best
defensive performance of the year, but the Wildcats were without two of the
best offensive talents in the B1G in Kain Colter and Venric Mark. I really hope
our beloved Gophers built some confidence and can come out strong against
Neboreska this weekend. See what I did
there? Nebraska is boring! I’m the best.
 |
| The Classy Gentlemen always dress in classy layers. |
11 AM Starts –
It’s a little earlier now than it was in college since I get up early on the
weekdays for work, but it still sucks to get up before 7 AM on a Saturday to
tailgate for a game. It also doesn’t
help that it will probably still be in the 30s when we get to Lot 37. Dress in
layers on Saturday folks, it’s gonna be a cold one!
Well, I better get back to work. Otherwise my next blog post
will probably be about how my life went downhill and my company’s stock price
soared after I was fired. Stay on the
right side of those divergent events, folks.
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