Big Party's B1G Word of the Day

Sisyphean
Sis·y·phe·an – (adjective) 1. involving endless but futile labor 2. Relating to Sisyphus

A man.  And his truck.  And a broken fence.  And a missing calf.  And veal is really valuable. And you spent too much on your stupid Chevy truck because GM has to subsidize their bloated advertising budget. So you need to get that petulant heifer back and take it to the slaughterhouse in order to feed your family through the winter.  Also your son spends too much time on the computer, or something. Anyways, TRUCKS! MANLINESS! AMERICA! FREEDOM!  

The author completing his usual
Tuesday morning workout.

They’ve been showing that Chevy commercial two times every commercial break during NFL action (between the Ford truck, Dodge truck, Verizon, Visa, DirecTV, Miller Lite, and Cialis commercials), and I think it’s starting to negatively affect my mental state.  Every time I think I’ve drowned out one of their terrible ad campaigns (e.g., “This is Our Country”, Fall Sales Event, Spring Sales Event, Tim Meadows’ Birthday Sales Spectacular, etc.), they come out with another series of TV spots that do enough to grab my attention and annoy me all over again. 

I am reminded of the mythical Sisyphus, eternally pushing that boulder up the hill only to have to watch it roll back down again.  This not only encapsulates my heroic enduring of tedious TV ad campaigns, but I feel like a lot of the Gopher fan base can relate to this tale during what was supposed to be a corner turning year for the program.  Every time a Gopher football fan gets their hopes up, something happens to knock the metaphorical rock back down the hill. 

Let’s look at a couple of the events that have transpired since I started undergrad in 2002: up huge on Michigan going into the fourth quarter - a win that would have propelled the Gophers into the top 10 - and John Navarre and Chris Perry pull a rabbit out of a hat; Barber and Maroney are running all over Wisconsin and whatshisface drops the punt; Pasadena Brew promises Rose Bowls, starts 7-1 in his second season, and we all know how that turned out.

In spite of these previous calamities, the positivity coming into this season was palpable.  Coach Kill took his epilepsy struggles public, received resounding support from the community and national media, and it felt like he was winning the battle.  Phil Nelson was returning as starting QB with a full offseason to add some polish to a promising freshman campaign. The beast known as Optimus Prime was a popular pre-season awards pick and destined to destroy the competition en route to the 1^st round of the NFL Draft.  Freshman Ryan Santoso had his pick of starting positions as a punter, kicker, offensive lineman, defensive lineman, and/or customer of the year at Five Guys.  Collectively, Gopher fans had recovered from the setbacks of the Tim Brewster era and were moving the boulder back up the hill. 

However, none of these reasons for optimism have worked out as we expected six games into the season.

Onto the game…

Presumed Chevy truck owner Brady “Headsets Are for Nerds” Hoke and the Michigan staff did an excellent job mending their fence during their bye week.  After a big win against Notre Dame early this season, Michigan had a couple near defeats to inferior competition.  Akron and UConn both had chances to beat the mighty Wolverines in the waning seconds of the game and one of those teams has already fired their head coach.  Coming into Saturday’s game against our beloved Gophers, I honestly didn’t know what to expect from what was - on paper - one of the most talented teams in the country. Well, talent and execution came together in together for Big Blue, and the Gophers just about did all they could to keep the game close through 3.5 quarters.

This is the first snap recap I’ve written that wasn’t after a game I saw in person.  It’s either going to be a whole lot better or a whole lot worse.  Or about the same.  Or marginally better or worse.  These are your options.

Things I liked:

Mitch “The Lamplighter” Leidner - Feel free to ignore any previous posts touting that we should stick with the starter.  (I reserve the right to change my mind!) Other than the early fumble and an underthrown deep ball to Donovan Jones (which was a huge missed opportunity), he played a strong game.  It’s his decisiveness that really sets him apart from Nelson, and his ability to make plays when things break down will be key to competing the rest of the way.  I wouldn’t be surprised if we ended up with a QB rotation, as Higgy suggested last week, to take advantage of both of their skill sets.  It seems to work pretty well for our next opponent, Northwestern.



You don't deserve to wear my dad's
jock strap, let alone his number!

Damien Wilson and the run D – Michigan piled up some yards on the ground it took a lot of plays. Damien was all over the field, and the front 7 mostly held Fitz Touissant and Devin Gardner in check, creating a lot of third and long situations. 

Business as usual – We were all saddened by the news of Coach Kill’s seizure Saturday morning and hope him a speedy recovery.  I’m sure Coach will be back at practice next week and will continue to work his butt off for our team.  If there is a positive that can be taken from this, it’s that the team and coaching staff performed seamlessly in his absence.  I have absolute faith in the contingency plan the staff has in place for these situations, and hope the reported change in meds that spurred Coach Kill’s recent episode will work out in the long run.

Devin Funchess and the other Michigan pass catchers – Devin Gardner actually had a pretty rough game throwing the football and struggled with his accuracy.  However, their big TE Devin Funchess and their WRs were definitely impressive in making adjustments and repeatedly making great catches.

Things I didn’t like:

The Gopher Secondary – The injury riddled defensive backfield had a rough day.  As I mentioned before, Michigan found themselves in plenty of third and long situations, but they were able to easily get the first down on many occasions.  I’m sure the defensive scheme was to make Gardner beat us with his arm and not his legs, but we needed a few plays from the secondary for it to work.  

Hey! Tremaine Brock just got a pick six in the SNF game!  Think we can sneak him back into a maroon and gold uniform by Oct 19?

It's a hard day's night, when you can't stop them
on third dowwwwn.

Mike Patrick – You know, I get it.  Michigan is a storied football powerhouse and is likely primed to compete for the B1G title this year, and the Gophers are a team that hasn’t been consistently good since The Beatles appeared on the Ed Sullivan show.  However, Mike Patrick’s annoying fanboy shtick was really grating me by the end of the broadcast.

I don’t know how a 42 – 13 game can ever be a moral victory, but I didn’t see a ton of negatives from the Gopher perspective.  They played a pretty solid game against a physically superior opponent.  To pull an upset of this caliber in college football, you need to catch the opponent on their heels, execute to perfection, and catch a few a lucky breaks.  Michigan came out inspired and ready to play, and the Gophers couldn’t find the lucky bounces they needed.  It was a cliché’ closer than the score game.

Now, I don’t think the boulder has rolled back down the hill by any means.  I think we’ve just caught a ridge on the way to the top, and the bye week will provide a chance for the team regroup and continue pushing our way up. This is where the story of Gopher Nation varies from that of poor Sisyphus.  Sisyphus was damned to an eternity of fruitless labor, but I feel it in my bones that we will get our rock to the top of the hill eventually.  And it will be glorious.